1st July 2010

I dunno what I'm doing anymore.
I have low morales, and i feel that I have less passion about design compared to when I was in ITE.
Tell me.
What's changed over time?
Is my company around me, or did I change because of my environment?
Or did I change because I'm tired of chasing this dream after all the tries and failures?
I really don't have any confidence in this anymore.
And I don't have the mentality nor can I do things as good as others.
Maybe I'm comparing too much or maybe I asked for too much.
I just don't know anything anymore.
And I can't remember things well anymore.
I don't know what's going to happen next.
And I'm scared.
Scared of the future and scared of my own decisions.
Where did my former self went?
And where did my high self-esteem gone to?
I just don't understand anything anymore.
Tell me.
What should I do?
I feel like I'm closed into the closet, looking out to the colourful world where I can't reach and can't approach to.
No, I won't cry.
I won't cry since it wouldn't help.
So, what's wrong?
Tell me.
What's wrong with me?

________________________________________________
Class cancelled, stay home.
Met Joy & Gabson & Kris.
Ate at MOF.
Discussed about the website design for Joy's blogshop.
I dunno if it'll be a success or not.
But I think I should help her out.
Anyway, it seems like she don't really know what she wants for the website.
So I guess I have to do more references and do what I feel should be more comfortable.
I have to think in the mindset of a customers' to design the site.
But well, not much of a design but make it at least a higher chance for her to make it better with chance of success.
I think firstly the issue here is with the networking and publicity of the site.
I'm not sure if the problem lies here but I'm gonna try helping her out.
I should quickly help her do the site too.
Though I don't have much confidence but yea.
Let's do it. Please give me power, since she's already asked me to do it.